Archive: 1990

Covert Activities

  • December 16, 1990
Covert Activities

December 16, 1990 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, We were badly shaken by that xerox of "Covert Activities," which rips away the mask of hypocrisy and lays bare the rotten core of cabbage, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, orange juice, carrots, celery.... vs coffee. We are destroying ourselves with health foods. Back to coke floats and double-fatburgers, with lots of cheese. The viciousness of oat bran is beyond description. We can’t thank you enough.

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Thanksgiving

  • November 25, 1990
Thanksgiving

November 25, 1990 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, We had Thanksgiving dinner at the new home of stepson and daughter-in-law, who have agreed to pay us off for staying here a year by inviting us to holiday dinners for the next 35 years.  That takes a great load off our minds.  The dinner was excellent, with so many courses that I lost count after eleven.  (I was barely conscious on the couch, holding my tum with both hands.)  We are invited there for Christmas, when I look forward to counting beyond eleven.

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Totally Exhausted

  • October 29, 1990
Totally Exhausted

October 29, 1990 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, TOTALLY EXHAUSTED after visit by sister-in-law, we went to Reno and stayed at the Bally Grand, where they have seven restaurants and the casino has wide aisles.  I won enough on the dollar machine to pay for our gourmet meals.  (A gourmet meal is served with plates under the plates.  What you really pay for is the second dishwasher to handle all the extra plates.)  Anyhow, we had a rest, even though we were confronted on the day of departure with snow on Donner Pass.  But it melted.  Here we are. WINTER CLOSES IN.  Overnight...

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Responding To Your Points

  • October 10, 1990
Responding To Your Points

October 10, 1990 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, Responding to your points: We ate at Denny's as well as Michael's Waterside because we believe in seeing Life Steady and Whole, participating in The Great Pageant of Life, and pinching pennies.  We could afford Michael's again in seven or eight years but, unless he separates the smokers from the non's, we'll stick with The Jerry and Denny's.  A fairminded agenda. I shall not return if Northrop calls.  When I left I told them they were on their own, and to stay out of trouble.  They laughed, and now they're paying the price. ...

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Print Shop

  • September 30, 1990
Print Shop

Arthur Sterling Covert 112 Front Street Schenectady, New York 12305 518-374-7658 September 30, 1990 Dear Doktor, Having carried the first stage of this letter to the mail box when I went for the Times, I found the following on my return and after I had effectively finished the puzzle.  Happily I had forgotten to mail the letter. Msg #: 2700 From: BRIAN MURRAY SENT: 09-30-90 08:54 To: ARTHUR COVERT RCVD: 09-30-90 11:38 Re: (R)PRINT SHOP[S] Hi There is only one "Print Shop" that goes by that name.  The problem might be that you are looking for graphics for the new version, this...

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That Crappy Program

  • September 29, 1990
That Crappy Program

Arthur Sterling Covert 112 Front Street Schenectady, New York 12305 518-374-7658 September 29, 1990 Dear Doktor, It is some time since I have been forced to address you so formally.  It was your intransigence in failing to follow my advice that opened this can of worms.  There were a few brief moments when I thought the can of worms might be a pot of gold but this end was not to be.  Your first mistake was buying that crappy program for your son instead of Publish It Light which I recommended.  Your second was in not recognizing that there exists the following [A] Print Shop, [B] Printshop,...

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The Garlic Capital Of The World

  • September 18, 1990
The Garlic Capital Of The World

September 18, 1990 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, We have returned from our trip to Santa Barbara. As promised in my previous letter, comments of enduring interest on Gilroy, "The Garlic Capital Of The World,” the delay at Highway 101 in Paso Robles, and the house wine at Michael’s restaurant in Santa Barbara (not zinfandel) follow herewith.

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And Stay Tuned

  • September 6, 1990
And Stay Tuned

September 6, 1990 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, Happy to receive a letter after a month’s silence, which led me to wonder if you had returned to the CCCP as an advisor on their cold fusion program. Your description of life over there would not tempt too many leotoro-chemises to leave the Catskills for a tasty breakfast at the KOCMOC, even if you could bring your own can of Log Cabin Maple Syrup. The IGA manager will be relieved to know that your patronage will continue.

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Return To The Subject

  • August 8, 1990
Return To The Subject

August 8, 1990 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN about Mary’s condition. I wrote in an earlier letter that she had recovered fine and resumed her morning walks. You may have mislaid the letter or turned it over to the KGB to throw them off the track. Anyhow, she has put the operation out of her mind, and is concentrating on making the world a better place. Everything else is going smoothly here, except for a corroded car battery cable connector, which I replaced for $1.59. Nothing more seems to be corroded except The Bee, which is under the impression that...

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Faithful Readers Aghast

  • July 28, 1990
Faithful Readers Aghast

July 28, 1990 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, SOON TO BE RELEASED! "GORCHYBOFF & ME," by Thomas Udo, Published by Udobbs Press. Rips away the mask of hypocrisy! The "inside" story as seen by Publisher Udo on a recent trip! Unemploed KGB agents selling used instruments of torture from pushcarts in Red Square! Employed KGB agents selling government secretsy pushcarts in Nevsky Prospekt! New-style entrepreneurs selling pushcarts to KGB agents! "We all do each other’s washing, Comrade," explained a sidewalk vendor of soap powder, which on inspection proved to be kitty-litter....

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Communication From Mockba

  • June 30, 1990
Communication From Mockba

June 30, 1990 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, Communication from Mockba received and understood.

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Stop-Press News!

  • June 7, 1990
Stop-Press News!

June 7, 1990 their, Hey. they’re, Udo!-- there, STOP-PRESS NEWS! MARY HAD AN EMERGENCY GALL-BLADDER OPERATION and is now home from the hospital. For several days she had sharp pains that started and stopped three or four times a day. Finally she decided to see her internist. He put her in the hospital immediately. She also had inflammation of the pancreas, which needed to abate before they could operate. She was there for 3 days, on l.v., before anything happened. After the surgery she came home in four days. She is has just about recovered her strength, and feels good about having...

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From New York To Stamford

  • May 16, 1990
From New York To Stamford

May 16, 1990 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, Sorry to hear about your awful red-eye return flight. We were asking ourselves how you got from New York to Stamford. Flight to Albany, then drive your own car to Stamford (after having left it in the long-term parking lot)? Flight to somewhere else upstate, then hitchhike? Anyhow, you arrived safe if not fully sound.

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45 Years Or So

  • April 28, 1990
45 Years Or So

April 28, 1990 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, It was certainly good to see you and Anne and Thomas, after a short 45 years or so (in your case).  We had a very nice time, and want to thank you again for the dinner.  (I noticed you didn't order zinfandel.)  We enjoyed meeting Grant and Sandy (who now suspects that I may not be Ken Early).  Mary and Sandy talked over old times in Brooklyn, but I could only talk over old times in Queens, and nobody would have known what I was taking about (except Donald Trump, who is from Queens, but we try to keep that quiet).  Hope your red-eye...

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Congratulations To Anne

  • April 1, 1990
Congratulations To Anne

April 1, 1990 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, Congratulations to Anne on her election.  Next stop Albany.

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