Archive: 1991

Computer Advisories

  • November 24, 1991
Computer Advisories

November 24, 1991 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, Just received the enclosed computer advisories solicited in response to your last letter. The comments on the page with part of your letter xeroxed at the top are from my MD-son-in-law, who is highly but not widely informed. (which he acknowledges.) But some of what he wrote may be useful.

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Disaster Impends

  • November 2, 1991
Disaster Impends

November 2, 1991 their, Hey. they’re, Udo!-- there, The latest Valley Voice finally went to press. I know you have been on pins and needles. Now you can learn what’s been going on in Stamford during the last two months. Stamford is obviously Where It’s At.

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My Monitor Crashed

  • October 8, 1991
My Monitor Crashed

October 8, 1991 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, Just when I thought everything was under control, my monitor crashed. That put me out of action for a week. During that time I performed some of the household jobs that I postponed for several years. Mary was so shocked that she had to take bedrest with an icepack on her forehead.

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Developments

  • August 31, 1991
Developments

August 31, 1991 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-— there, This issue was delayed because the front page had to be re- made in response to "developments." We stay on top of all late— breaking stories. Keep your subscription current, so you won’t miss anything. Our readers are never caught off guard on talk shows or at cocktail parties. We give them all the answers.

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A Duel Fought On The Village Green

  • August 8, 1991
A Duel Fought On The Village Green

Harvey L. Slatin 78 Main Street Stamford, New York 12167 August 8, 1991 Dear son Thomas, The correspondence from you is overwhelming.  You must be busier than a one-armed paperhanger affected with St. Vitus Dance.  We assume that you are having an uproarious time and at night fall away from exhaustion.  Well, the camp holiday is coming to a close.  All our plans as to what we were doing to do while you were away, have not been fulfilled.  There are weekend guests and parties, and other forms of entertainment to take up our precious time.  So much will have to be done on your return. ...

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Your Last Letter Was Nifty

  • August 5, 1991
Your Last Letter Was Nifty

Harvey L. Slatin 78 Main Street Stamford, New York 12167 August 5, 1991 Dear Thomas, Your last letter was nifty.  We enjoyed it very much.  Now that we have read if fifty times, it has lost much of its glamor.  Needless to say (and we say it anyway), we have not heard from you in over ten days.  We assume you are having so good a time that writing would be an interference.  We hope that you are writing to others on that list mother carefully made out for you. Here is the latest on the animals at home.  We are not sure if it is the weather or your absence that has gotten into...

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The Latest Edition

  • July 27, 1991
The Latest Edition

July 27, 1991 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, Enclosed: the latest edition, ink barely dry. It was a struggle, but Man cannot let The Machine triumph; without Man there is no Machine. (Such is the Wisdom 0f My People.) We have had bearable weather, but 100+ temperatures are here again. From what we read, you have recorded new highs in heat, especially in Big Town. We buy the NY Times daily, to keep up on the weather and The Dinkins Debacle. But no matter how hard they try, they can’t match the klutzes in the City Council? the Beauty Beard of Commissioners, and the State Legislature...

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Instructions Have Been Carried Out

  • May 22, 1991
Instructions Have Been Carried Out

May 22, 1991 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, Your card arrived from Gettysburg, and instructions have been carried out as requested.  The Bee called to ask where you were, and we told them nothing.  They threatened to stop delivery and we pleaded with them to carry out the threat.  With a cynical laugh the caller sneered that not only would delivery continue, but the paper-boy would be ordered to ring the doorbell and put the paper in our hands.  In other words, we have no choice.  Is this America?  Is this freedom of the press?  We are forced to read under compulsion about...

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The Valley News

  • May 22, 1991
The Valley News

THE VALLEY NEWS Zeitung-Le Monde-Guardian-Shimbum The World's Newspaper Publisher: Vin Fandel -- Editor: Quinn Fandel Advertising & Circulation: Lyn Fandel HONEST     FEARLESS     OBJECTIVE Volume 1 | Number 10 VANISHES AGAIN! Palenville, N.Y. Immediately after leading a candlelight vigil to persuade Thomas "Big Tim" Udo to remain a political “power behind the scenes," Shoiman Shoiman, the mysterious international figure, vanished again. “One minute he was here, the next minute he was gone," said a native of Palenville, who had participated in the candlelight appeal....

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Quiet Days In The Big Tomato

  • February 20, 1991
Quiet Days In The Big Tomato

February 20, 1991 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, Quiet days in The Big Tomato, with no clouds in sight and rainfall to date about 1/3rd of normal.  The Bee is preparing wholesome, family-oriented articles about dying of thirst, bleached bones in every residential street, and Sacramento a ghost town.  "Inky" Hive wasted no time facing his responsibility to keep readers informed.  Between the drought and the Gulf War, Hive has a corner on every reader's attention.  The Daily Editor is a poor second.  Would you like a trial subscription to The Bee? After the freezing spell...

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