Dumbing-Down
There is an intentional dumbing-down of American society, as evidenced by manufacturers being forced to print instructions on the backs of shampoo bottles. (Visited 11 times, 1 visits today)
Month: March 2021
Snow Globes
by Thomas Slatin
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I never ever understood the point of snow globes. It’s always the same thing, time and time again. Unbelievable flooding followed by a snowstorm. (Visited 10 times, 1 visits today)
Stupid People
by Thomas Slatin
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Just when I thought I’ve seen my share of the stupidest people on the planet, someone comes along to top the level of stupidity. (Visited 16 times, 1 visits today)
Handicapped Accessible
by Thomas Slatin
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Only in America do the disabled get the closest parking spots and the furthest away toilets. (Visited 11 times, 1 visits today)
Airports
by Thomas Slatin
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Airline travel used to be fun until one day when the airlines thought that it would be a great idea instead of taking people directly to where they needed to...
My Autobiography
by Thomas Slatin
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If ever wrote an autobiography, the title would be The Misunderstood Child. (Visited 14 times, 1 visits today)
Snow White And The Seven Dwarves
by Thomas Slatin
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According to Snow White, 1 out of 7 dwarves isn’t happy. (Visited 9 times, 1 visits today)
Pancakes
by Thomas Slatin
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I have a system for everything. I even have a system for pancakes. I make sure that the top pancake gets the same amount of butter and syrup as the...
Superman
by Thomas Slatin
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Superman never made any money saving the world from Solomon Grundy. (Visited 12 times, 1 visits today)
Telemarketers
by Thomas Slatin
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Telemarketers are the ones that keep the HELL in hello. (Visited 8 times, 1 visits today)
Humans On Mars
by Thomas Slatin
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As soon as humans successfully colonize Mars, it’s inevitable that someone will produce a reality television show. (Visited 11 times, 1 visits today)
Electrical Outlets
by Thomas Slatin
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American electrical outlets look like little faces. (Visited 9 times, 1 visits today)
Desire
by Thomas Slatin
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Why is it that when we want something, it grows into an obsessive desire until we obtain it, at which point it no longer matters? (Visited 5 times, 1 visits...
Sheep Are Sluts
by Thomas Slatin
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In Australia, people think that people from New Zealand are having sex with sheep. In America, people think that it’s people from West Virginia that are having sex with sheep....
Romeo In Black Jeans
by Thomas Slatin
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What if I was Romeo in black jeans? No seriously, what if I was…? (Visited 8 times, 1 visits today)
Fuck Off!
by Thomas Slatin
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My biggest regrets in life all have one common theme — not telling certain people to FUCK OFF. (Visited 13 times, 1 visits today)
Conflict Resolution
by Thomas Slatin
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Whenever my father got into a disagreement with someone he would say, “do you know who I am?” Of course, he never told them who he was. (Visited 5 times,...
Trucks On Cheese?
by Thomas Slatin
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These signs make me think of a truck parked on a wedge of cheese. (Visited 8 times, 1 visits today)
867-5309
by Thomas Slatin
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Anyone who had the telephone number of 867-5309 was screwed when that song by Tommy Tutone came out. (Visited 11 times, 1 visits today)
The Dalai Lama’s Pizza
by Thomas Slatin
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If the Dalai Lama orders a pizza, he gets one with everything, but if he doesn’t have exact change, he won’t get that money back because change comes from within....
Adulthood
by Thomas Slatin
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The best part of being an adult is being able to wear pajamas in the daytime. (Visited 6 times, 1 visits today)
Magnetic Poetry
by Thomas Slatin
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One year for Christmas, my mom gifted me a magnetic poetry kit. I was only able to generate one poem… I worship a goddess with beautiful pink breasts who swims...