Thomas W. P. Slatin

There is an intentional dumbing-down of American society, as evidenced by manufacturers being forced to print instructions on the backs of shampoo bottles.

I never ever understood the point of snow globes. It’s always the same thing, time and time again. Unbelievable flooding followed by a snowstorm.

Just when I thought I’ve seen my share of the stupidest people on the planet, someone comes along to top the level of stupidity.

Only in America do the disabled get the closest parking spots and the furthest away toilets.

Airline travel used to be fun until one day when the airlines thought that it would be a great idea instead of taking people directly to where they needed to go, they instead make a few unnecessary stops along the way.

If ever wrote an autobiography, the title would be The Misunderstood Child.

According to Snow White, 1 out of 7 dwarves isn’t happy.

I have a system for everything. I even have a system for pancakes. I make sure that the top pancake gets the same amount of butter and syrup as the bottom one.

Superman never made any money saving the world from Solomon Grundy.

Telemarketers are the ones that keep the HELL in hello.