Athazagoraphobia

Athazagoraphobia is the fear of being forgotten, ignored or abandoned.

It has often been said that in life, we all drift apart as we get older, and consequently, this is much easier for some than it is for others.  For me, drifting apart from those I knew for so many years was difficult as over time, I tend to develop very strong, very long-lasting bonds with people.  It may sound crazy, but perhaps my greatest fear in life is being forgotten about by those in my life who knew me quite well.

There are so many memories from my life, which over the years has been through all shades of tumultuousness; ups and downs, the likes of which often defy any sort of logical explanation.  And I remember everything.  My notebook and my blog are the only ways in which one can definitively leave behind any sort of legacy or documentative accounts of their individual life experience.

I clearly remember the last time I talked to my father before he passed away, we talked about how he had never kept up with his writing and that he regrets not leaving me anything to remember him by, except for his two novels, one of which was left unfinished.  As of yet, I have not found anything he wrote about his own life, except for scientific notebooks filled with very high-end mathematical equations written in pencil, which I don’t understand.

My hope is to leave behind some sort of trace, and perhaps more importantly, some insight as to what I learned, experienced, and accomplished within my lifetime, instead of letting the memories and experiences get swallowed up into nothingness.