HLS - The Letters Of Harvey L. Slatin

November 29, 1992

Hey, they’re, Udo!–

FORMERLY “BIG TIM”?: Out of the question (ganz ausgeschlossen). Have you forgotten the ruling that the Political Titles Board made more than a year ago? Below is a copy of the article from The Valley News (now The Valley Voice) of 13 Sep 1991.


Geneva, Switzerland Once a “Big Tim,” always a “Big Tim,” ruled the international Political Titles Board, at an emergency meeting in Geneva. “Big Tim” La Ports of France, “Big Tim” von wahlkreis~Absatz of Germany, “Big Tim” Pastatucci of Italy, “Big Tim” Obregon of Spain, and “Big Tim” Timofyevitch of Russia, today co-signed a statement that invoked Article I, Section VIII, Clause XVIII of the treaty for international political—boss equality, signed at the UN in 1985. Under this provision, all political bosses are designated “Big Tim,” and cannot resign the title. If any “Big Tim” refuses to perform the duties of office, the title still obtains. “Big Tim” Udo cannot, therefore, refuse to be known as “Big Tim.” “Big Tim” can drop the designation only by being elected to public office, at which point the electee is no longer a “fixer” or “political boss,” but a respected public figure. Udo has not indicated that he is considering candidacy for office or respectability.

There is no appeal from that decision.

Pretty classy circular logo for Udobbs Press. Not only am I unable to match it, but both of my superpeachy font programs won’t work. I input all the obligatory commands, many clickings and flashings ensue, but the printer won’t print the new fonts, even though it has been printing them, as you know. As soon as guru stepson can spare the time, I hope to have them functioning again. Very puzzling.

Accordingly, this letter is not accompanied by the next exciting edition of The Valley Voice, which will probably not go to press until early 1993.

We were enormously impressed by the color photo of The First Family of Stamford. Such technology cannot be duplicated here. You have an Epson LQ 2550 color printer, and I have an Epson LQ 800, steam-powered b/w printer which would melt down if I tried to run a photo through it. I’ll ask guru stepson what the problem might be with importing color photos with your Microsoft program. No charge.

Mary’s health is fine, but thanks for inquiring. We both have regular checkups, and avoid anything nixed by Jane Brody in The New York Times. Soon we will-be down to distilled water and Vitamin capsules (fat-free). Several times a year we have to be restrained when we take a birthday-grandchild to the local ice-cream parlor for “treats,” and grind our teeth while the guest of honor wallops down a banana split as we sip carbonated water. Enduring such deprivation builds character. That’s a comfort.

I will not comment now on your latest Daily Rag because I like to do that in the columns of The Valley Voice. Please be patient, and you will be rewarded twice over (maybe thrice).

We certainly would like to see all of you if you come out to visit your sister, so let us know what your plans are, and we’ll try to work something out.

Best regards to Anne and Thomas. Worst regards to Bergleitner.

Fred C. (“The Voice Of Stamford in Sacramento”) Dobbs

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