HLS Letters

The 2008 Slatin Saga

  • January 16, 2009
The 2008 Slatin Saga

Health wise it was a good year. During my annual visit to Florida in February, I came down with a pneumonia virus. Gerry Hill's physician prescribed a medicine that cured the hacking cough. A few days later we discovered blood smears in my bed and on the rugs. I was taken to the Clearwater hospital. X-rays indicated that I had broken my right pinky toe in three places (I never felt a thing). The bone in the toe was seriously infected and immediate amputation was ordered. I had no idea that there was a flourishing market for used toe body parts. In addition to the little toe, it was also...

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My Cutting-Edge Computer

  • December 4, 1994
My Cutting-Edge Computer

December 4, 1994 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, My cutting-edge computer may be just days away. I was preparing my den to accommodate the computer when Reality intervened. Our oldest granddaughter's finance is a medic at a nearby base, and his work shifts vary. Mary deducted that when he was not on duty, he could be performing useful tasks around our house (for a consideration). Tasks like repairing the fence, cleaning the rain gutters, re-hanging the yard gate, etc. He agreed. He's a good handyman, but he doesn't have any tools. So I had to provide the tools and discuss...

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The Nobel Committee

  • November 11, 1994
The Nobel Committee

11 November 1994 there, Hey, they're Udo!--there, Glad to hear from you at long last. We thought the weather was delaying the mail stage from Stamford, but nothing stops it, we now realize. When they take a pledge to deliver Udo's letters, they deliver. Or else. Excellent news about Thomas. Straight A's! We always knew he had what it takes. Next he'll be taking extension courses from Harvard. If he says he wants a Nobel Prize, don't fight it. Most kids howl for a driver's license. You're lucky. As you see, I am still using my steam-powered word processor, but relief...

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The Real John Herzog

  • September 21, 1994
The Real John Herzog

September 21, 1994 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, New computer plus exotic auxiliaries delayed because of keyboard availability (temporary lack of). When installed, you will be the first recipient of late-breaking news. "Inky" Hive will be the second. The enclosed clipping caught my eye because of the subject's name. You will note that in the text he is called John T. Herzog. In the photo caption he is Jeff Herzog. Too bad the Real John Herzog can't share this. But he won't be forgotten. I read the article carefully to see if The Bee's heads-up proofreader covered...

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Rational Life Still Exists

  • August 28, 1994
Rational Life Still Exists

August 28, 1994 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, Our houseguests departed on Monday the 8th. We delivered the last one to the airport, drove home dazed, and collapsed in hysterics. Night fell. We staggered to our feet, gulped vodka, lurched down the hall into bed, and slept for seventy—two hours.

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After Four Months

  • July 28, 1994
After Four Months

July 28, 1994 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, Glad to hear from you after four months. (My last letter to you was in March.) And very glad to hear the news about Thomas. His new school sounds like the answer. we’re sure it’s a great relief to you and Anne that the guesswork is behind you. If he likes computers and astronomy, he’s on his way.

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The Overdrawn & Forgers National Bank Of Stamford

  • March 20, 1994
The Overdrawn & Forgers National Bank Of Stamford

March 20, 1994 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, The heartrending news that you are forced to live on bread and water to afford Thomas’s tuition has stirred a great wave of concern. We went from door to door in rags, and solicited enough for next year. A deposit of $20,000 will be made to your account at The Overdrawn & Forgers National Bank of Stamford. Feel free to eat a balanced diet again.

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The Slatin Family

  • February 23, 1994
The Slatin Family

February 23, 1994 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!—- there, Happy to hear that The Slatin Family is O.K. Long gaps between letters, especially in the weather you’ve been having, imply car accidents, collapsed roofs, frostbite, starvation and other side effects. The disasters in California haven’t been in our area, but our in-laws in Malibu lost their house, and friends near the epicenter in Northridge had to vacate, and their dishes, furniture, etc. were total losses. This is Nature’s way of saying "thanks." Snow is better. (Honest.)

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No Word From You

  • January 24, 1994
No Word From You

January 24, 1994 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, No word from you for many months. Everything O.K.? Are you snowbound or icebound? We continue to read about the rough weather in your part of the country. California has had fires and an earthquake, but not near us. Daughter-in-law’s parents were burned out in Malibu. Some friends in the San Fernando Valley had their homes leveled by the earthquake. Our danger would be floods, but not much rain so far.

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Special Request

  • October 22, 1993
Special Request

October 22, 1993 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, Special Request. Letter arrived from Art Gurney the day after I mailed mine to you on the 19th. In an earlier letter he mentioned a number of SEDs he used to see at reunions but has lost tough with. One of them was Arthur Covert.

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Sorry For The Delay

  • October 19, 1993
Sorry For The Delay

October 19, 1993 their, Hey, they're, Udo!--there, Sorry for the delay in writing. I wanted to get out another Valley Voice, but it took more time than estimated. Hard to believe that my last letter to you was May 23, 1993. (Yours to me was August 12, 1993).

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Allergies That Won’t Quit

  • May 23, 1993
Allergies That Won’t Quit

May 23, 1993 their, Hey, they're, Udo!-- there, Your concern about our well-being is much appreciated. We are fine for having spent the last two months with colds and allergies that won't quit. Some days all we did was eat and sleep. The ailments (whatever they were) are almost under control.

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“Big Tim” Forever

  • November 29, 1992
“Big Tim” Forever

November 29, 1992 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, FORMERLY "BIG TIM"?: Out of the question (ganz ausgeschlossen). Have you forgotten the ruling that the Political Titles Board made more than a year ago? Below is a copy of the article from The Valley News (now The Valley Voice) of 13 Sep 1991.

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Thirst-Maddened Sacramentans

  • October 21, 1992
Thirst-Maddened Sacramentans

October 21, 1992 their, Hey, they’re, Udo!-- there, Enclosing a recent article on coal foojin which will bring you up to date in case The Physical Review, The Electro-Chemical Science-Monitor and the Oneonta Star didn’t carry the story.

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Pickled Herring

  • August 7, 1992
Pickled Herring

Harvey L. Slatin 78 Main Street Stamford, New York 12167 August 7, 1992 Dear Thomas, Say, what am I, pickled herring? All your letters are addressed, both internally and externally to, "Anne P. Slatin." None are addressed to me. Say bud, without me, you not only wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be period. I am the Lord and Master (provided your mother isn't listening) and keep that in mind. The largest super soakers in the world are the fire fighting equipment used. On land, the water from hydrants or other water sources as lakes, pools, or ponds, are drawn to a pumper where it is put under...

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