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Snow White And The Seven Dwarves
According to Snow White, 1 out of 7 dwarves isn’t happy.
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Pancakes
I have a system for everything. I even have a system for pancakes. I make sure that the top pancake gets the same amount of butter and syrup as the bottom one.
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Superman
Superman never made any money saving the world from Solomon Grundy.
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Telemarketers
Telemarketers are the ones that keep the HELL in hello.
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Pirate Shirts
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Humans On Mars
As soon as humans successfully colonize Mars, it’s inevitable that someone will produce a reality television show.
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Desire
Why is it that when we want something, it grows into an obsessive desire until we obtain it, at which point it no longer matters?
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Sheep Are Sluts
In Australia, people think that people from New Zealand are having sex with sheep. In America, people think that it’s people from West Virginia that are having sex with sheep. I think that the problem is that sheep are just sluts.
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Romeo In Black Jeans
What if I was Romeo in black jeans? No seriously, what if I was…?
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Fuck Off!
My biggest regrets in life all have one common theme — not telling certain people to FUCK OFF.