Thomas W. P. Slatin

Airline travel used to be fun until one day when the airlines thought that it would be a great idea instead of taking people directly to where they needed to go, they instead make a few unnecessary stops along the way.

If ever wrote an autobiography, the title would be The Misunderstood Child.

According to Snow White, 1 out of 7 dwarves isn’t happy.

I have a system for everything. I even have a system for pancakes. I make sure that the top pancake gets the same amount of butter and syrup as the bottom one.

Superman never made any money saving the world from Solomon Grundy.

Telemarketers are the ones that keep the HELL in hello.

As soon as humans successfully colonize Mars, it’s inevitable that someone will produce a reality television show.

American electrical outlets look like little faces.

Why is it that when we want something, it grows into an obsessive desire until we obtain it, at which point it no longer matters?