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Conflict Resolution
Whenever my father got into a disagreement with someone he would say, “do you know who I am?” Of course, he never told them who he was.
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Trucks On Cheese?
These signs make me think of a truck parked on a wedge of cheese.
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867-5309
Anyone who had the telephone number of 867-5309 was screwed when that song by Tommy Tutone came out.
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The Dalai Lama’s Pizza
If the Dalai Lama orders a pizza, he gets one with everything, but if he doesn’t have exact change, he won’t get that money back because change comes from within.
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Adulthood
The best part of being an adult is being able to wear pajamas in the daytime.
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Magnetic Poetry
One year for Christmas, my mom gifted me a magnetic poetry kit. I was only able to generate one poem… I worship a goddess with beautiful pink breasts who swims in a sea of repulsive sausage