American Writer, Photographer, and Website Designer. Former career Fire and EMS Lieutenant. She/Her/Lesbian.

I’m Running Out Of Time


I learned a lot about life from my father; perhaps his greatest teaching was that of productivity.  My father would always tell me, “I’m running out of time.”  My father would constantly remind me that one must always stay productive, never stop learning, and never stop living, because when we die, there is nothing left.  He used to tell me that you never want to die wishing you had accomplished less than you were able to.

My fathers’ over-productive and over-achieving attitude allowed him to achieve some incredible feats and achievements, the likes of which are monumental in comparison to what I have achieved so far.

These teachings of productivity have left me with the feeling that I’m running out of time; I should have accomplished something astounding, earth-shattering, or  miraculous by now, or I should have already been successful a long time ago and be moving on to bigger and better things by now.  Unfortunately, life rarely plays out the way we want it to, despite our plans, and the picture-perfect maps we create in our minds of how our lives will be.

My father and I have a lot of similarities in our views, as a direct result of what we have seen and experienced in our lives; I just wish my father were still here for me to remind him of how similar our views are, despite his persistent denial of such.  During the course of our lives, we have both witnessed things that made us question our faith in god.  We have both seen the good, the bad, and the unimaginable.  And yet, like my father, I continue to maintain the ideal of productivity.

I just wish my father and I had more time…

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