Writing

LEGO

  • March 2, 2004

March 2, 2004

LEGO Education Division
Development And Research
113 North Maple Street
Enfield, CT 06083

I wish to complain in regards to your entire product line in general.  My situation is simple; I live an upper middle class existence, I work about 40 hours per week, drive a pre-owned car, own a small house with a lawnmower and a white picket fence. Nothing out of the ordinary (I just wanted to make this clear that I am just your average guy).

My situation is as follows; recently I purchased one of your Lego sets after seeing that commercial you guys always play on television.  You know which one I’m talking about… It’s the one where you have this robot that looks and walks like John Travolta did in that movie, Saturday Night Fever.  Anyway, in the commercial the robot is like all over the place shooting other robots and cyborgs and monsters with all kinds of high powered laser beams. And at the same time there’s all kinds of stuff blowing up all around him, but since he’s the super awesome robot guy, nothing happens to him.  You know the commercial, right?

Well, I purchased the Lego set and I know it’s the right one because it has that robot guy all over the front of the box (which by the way is the biggest Lego box I’ve ever seen… it didn’t even fit in the darn cart). Excuse my language.  Anyhow, I paid $499.95 for the Lego set expecting that once I got it home I’d be entertained by the cyborg robot master of war and king of laser beams.  To put it bluntly, I was almost expecting that the robot would be shooting laser beams at everything, and I was hoping that I would be able to reprogram him to shoot at the neighbor’s cat so that it would go away and stop annoying me. Did you know that the cat is an unfixed male?  Do you know what kind of problems it has with digging up the daisies in my front yard?

Anyhow, to make a long story short, I stayed up all night putting the robot together.  Did you know that there were over 1000 pieces? You guys really need to write more of your instructions in English, too. The pictures are awful after you have been up all night trying to put a robot together.  Then at roughly 5:31 in the morning the robot was complete.

What I want from you is my money back ($499.95), plus $15.87 I spent on a long distance call to your company in which a guy named Anthony (what kind of a name is that, anyway), did nothing but laugh at my situation!  And stop laughing about how I’m a 40-year-old virgin! So what! Enough already!

Thanks for nothing,

Thomas Slatin

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