HLS - The Letters Of Harvey L. Slatin

12 January 1990

their,
Hey, they’re, Udo!–
there,

THIS EXCITING TIME & CONDITIONS REPORT
IS PROVIDED TO YOU AT NO COST
(Not For Resale!)

TIME: 11:47 A.M.
TEMPERATURE: 71º F.
HUMIDITY: 63%
BAROMETER: 29,81″ Hg.↓
PRECIPITATION PREVIOUS 24 HRS: (Not yet reported)
FORECAST NEXT 24 HRS: RAIN

We are having rain at this very minute, and the forecast is the same for the next three days.  We are almost one inch below normal precipitation for the seasons, and this is badly needed.  It should increase the snow pack in the Sierras, where our reservoirs are located, and give us enough water for washing and drinking this summer.  The Big Tomato will retain its reputation as the garden spot of Northern California.  Property values will not drop.

YOUR EXHIBIT “A”: You win this one.  The Bee seldom risks foreign languages, so I can’t compare Stamford and Sacramento.  But Travelin’ Time Tours takes a back seat to no one.  Their address is 76 Main Street, and yours is 78.  Did you rent them the corner room of your house?  They’re so close you could proofread their ads through your window.  If thse are the people who arranged your trip to the CCCP, please go over the paperwork carefully.  It’s a long walk back.

YELLOW SCHOOL BUS: Why not a stamp, indeed?  Sacramento is full of yellow school buses.  Advise Dr. Cyr and Mayor Alexander that a letter to The Bee could do no harm.  (How the Bee’s spelling would reflect the letter’s is something else again.)

Do you remember that I mentioned the last name of Mrs. Osterhout’s father was Alexander?  (That’s the Franklin Osterhout family, where we used to vacation.)  Your mayor is probably a relation, possibly a great-grandson.  We know a lot of important people.

ANNE’S TWO CARDS: I am forwarding them to Dankins, as an example of what went on while Koch was mayor.

FRANK OPPENHEIMER: Thanks for the information.  I have no idea what brought him to mind, but the details you supplied are welcome.  If Mary and I take grandchildren to the Exploratorium, we’ll take grand-daughters only.  The grandsons would level the Exploratorium to the ground in twelve minutes or less.

KIND HEARTS & SERVIETTES: If not Margaret Dumont, then who shall it be?  Glynis Johns is appearing in “The Circle,” with Rex Harrison and Stewart Granger.  Margaret Rutherford and Dame May Whitty have departed, I imagine.  Gracie fields would not be suitable.  Angela Lansbury?  Sooner or later she will distance herself from those who-done-its on tv.  Why not invite her to Stamford for a chat?  Have Travelin’ Time Tours make arrangements.

Volume II of “Kind Hearts..etc.” is almost complete.  An exhausting commitment, but I shrink not from it.  The truth must be told.  You shall be the first to read it.

PETE RIZZO AND EARL HOWSER may not have approved of our abandoning Tahoe for the flatlands for Christmas, but I feel that I have paid my dues to I-80, Donner Pass, and the friendly glare ice between here and Reno.  If Pete and Earl are that nutty about rolling the dice at Harrah’s, they can have my seat at the table next year, too.  Just mention my name to the pit boss, slip him a C note, and the place will be theirs.

MANY CONGRATULATIONS for being on the board of the soon-to-be Exploratorium at SUNY Oneonta.  (I think it used to be a teachers’ college.)  And I think my old school, Brooklyn Polytechnic Institute, is now in the SUNY embrace as Polytechnic University of New York.  No escaping the octopus.  If Groves had realized that I went to BPI, I’m sure he would have let me out of my calisthenics.  He was tough, but fair.

ENCLOSED: Top part of the front page of The Bee for January 9th.  You will notice that the headline story is about frogs.  I defy your Stamford paper to equal that.  The NY Times carried the story on its Northern California edition, but on page 9.  You should stop boasting about your paper.  When it comes to real journalism, The Bee is head and shoulders above the Catskills.  I rest my case.  May I have the next slide, please?

ALSO ENCLOSED: The Udobbs Press books ready for promotion in 1990.  You can circularize this flyer in Stamford, and we can estimate our press run on the basis of your sample.  I trust you to do this because you are a lectoro-chemise that knows all about stisstissticks.  Just remember that the Oneonta SUNY board is not your only obligation.  You are the publisher of Udobbs Press, an awesome responsibility.

John Hancock was born on this day in 1737.

Press On To Heights Of Ever-Greater Distinction!

Fred C. “Volume Discount!” Dobbs

(Visited 59 times, 1 visits today)