Writing

Pussycats

  • July 8, 2011

I love to have
my back scratched.
But not by cats.
T.S.E. adored cats.
I do not.
He gave them
elegant names.
Mine are
more appropriate:
meany, nasty, pesty,
horrid,  misery, vile.
The cats’ hair
belong on cats
not deposited
here,  there
everywhere.
To please me
cats bring offerings
of dead birds,
dying mice and voles.
I can do without.
“Stroke my fur;
hear me purr.
Does the spark sting?”
Six cats are
six cats too many
there must be 100
more comfortable
spacious places to rest
than my chest
or on my head
than on my bed.
After they knead and
tread on my body,
am I softer
than a pillow?
Apparently so!
Diurnal  or nocturnal
sleep takes over at
the drop of a cat:
Here, there, everywhere…
any old time
is catnap time.
An hour or two
will often do.
A long  rest
is always best
in narrowest nest…
Awake for your
compulsory
attack of the
upholstery!
Unless made of hardened steel
construction is subject to
a cat’s destruction.
Loud caterwauls
in feline brawls
are free for alls…
You leave your scent
where you went
here, there,
everywhere.
Your fervid dediCATion
to feline miltipliCATion
via pussy forniCATion
is a noble rep;iCATion…
How easily you loCATe
those cats in heat
is a facile feat.
Finding them here,
there, everywhere.
That CATaleptic pose
by a CATnip overdose
a CATatonic stare at
an E.T. Alien scare cat
Where? Here, there,
everywhere.
Pusillanimous biddies?
Not a trait in any kitties
rather assured intrepidity
than inured timidity.
As I’ve written
I’m not kitten
I hate cats…

Harvey Slatin, 2011

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