I love to have
my back scratched.
But not by cats.
T.S.E. adored cats.
I do not.
He gave them
elegant names.
Mine are
more appropriate:
meany, nasty, pesty,
horrid,  misery, vile.
The cats’ hair
belong on cats
not deposited
here,  there
everywhere.
To please me
cats bring offerings
of dead birds,
dying mice and voles.
I can do without.
“Stroke my fur;
hear me purr.
Does the spark sting?”
Six cats are
six cats too many
there must be 100
more comfortable
spacious places to rest
than my chest
or on my head
than on my bed.
After they knead and
tread on my body,
am I softer
than a pillow?
Apparently so!
Diurnal  or nocturnal
sleep takes over at
the drop of a cat:
Here, there, everywhere…
any old time
is catnap time.
An hour or two
will often do.
A long  rest
is always best
in narrowest nest…
Awake for your
compulsory
attack of the
upholstery!
Unless made of hardened steel
construction is subject to
a cat’s destruction.
Loud caterwauls
in feline brawls
are free for alls…
You leave your scent
where you went
here, there,
everywhere.
Your fervid dediCATion
to feline miltipliCATion
via pussy forniCATion
is a noble rep;iCATion…
How easily you loCATe
those cats in heat
is a facile feat.
Finding them here,
there, everywhere.
That CATaleptic pose
by a CATnip overdose
a CATatonic stare at
an E.T. Alien scare cat
Where? Here, there,
everywhere.
Pusillanimous biddies?
Not a trait in any kitties
rather assured intrepidity
than inured timidity.
As I’ve written
I’m not kitten
I hate cats…

Harvey Slatin, 2011

15 thoughts on “Pussycats

  1. I like cats and dogs but I must admit that sometimes they can be a bother. I like your writte, it was very funny.

  2. The house is very pretty, I do not understand why they have abandoned it. there could live a family

  3. I prefer cats than dogs though. Sure they may have their own pros and cons but I lean towards cats than dogs. Especially because rats are all over my house lol.

  4. “Unless made of hardened steel construction is subject to a cat’s destruction”, well supported 80% but my own steffy isnt destructive. Lovely piece

  5. I have 4 cats at home and one of them gives me belly massage. Lol. Cats are very silly, sweet and crazy. Love them so much.

  6. Same here I never liked cars, give me my favorite which is dogs any day or anytime. Cats are cute but dogs are cuter.

  7. Cats are one of the most popular pets in the world. But for me personally, I don’t like cats… meow, meow & meow :).

  8. Lol, I will also want my back scratch too but not also by a cat. I only love the sounds the make but not their physical presence.

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