December 16, 1989
Hey, they’re, Udo!–
This is just a quick response to your quick response. Normal-size response will follow this response, which is not intended to be a standard response (just a quick response).
UDOBBS PRESS: You have taken the ball to the five-yard line in one play! The crowd is on its feet! The smell of a touchdown is in the air. Victory is within our grasp!
WRITER’S SOFTWARE: I have a dilemma. in my computer I have WordPerfect programs 4.1 and 5.0. (John sent me the discs for the latest WordPerfect, which is aimed at writers and desk-top publishers. For $130 you urge me to get Writer’s Software. For another $110 I can get a program that will do more. I am torn. Here we are on the verge of a Pulitzer and I am torn. Please send advice to the word-torn. Signed, Torn.
SERVIETTES: Volumes II and III advance. Tension as taught as a piano-wire. I crawl from the keyboard with perspiration pouring down my face. Flesh and blood can stand just so much. I certainly hope Sir Charles and Lady Occipita appreciate all I am doing for them.
THE CALL OF THE STEPPES: Sounds like first cabin all the way. In St. Petersburg (named under glasnost) you will no doubt go to the famous art museum. (It’s not called that officially, but you know what I mean.) Tip the guide in U.S. currency only (kopeks are a dime a dozen).
LOW-CHOLESTEROL LOAD RECIPE: Enclosed. Believe it or not, the original of this was attributed to the chef at Trump’s, a glitzy L.A. restaurant. (Somehow I can’t picture a crowd of yuppie surfers paying $24 for an entree of turkey loaf.) It didn’t win any cheers here, but our improved version is enclosed. Important to get a lot of the moisture out of the veggies by microwave, to keep the loaf from cooking up soggy. (We live on low and non-cholesterol foods. No fats, no reclaimed motor oil, etc. Way to go.)
IN-DEPTH LETTER TO FOLLOW. In the interim, keep Smiley La Flash in the clink (DON’T guarantee bond!) and talk up “Serviettes” with the whittlers at the IGA. There is no such thing as too many royalties, Udo. (As president of a publishing house, you probably realize that, anyway.)
Fred C. (“Start The Presses!”) Dobbs