HLS Letters

Quiet Days In The Big Tomato

  • February 20, 1991

HLS - The Letters Of Harvey L. Slatin

February 20, 1991

their,
Hey, they’re, Udo!–
there,

Quiet days in The Big Tomato, with no clouds in sight and rainfall to date about 1/3rd of normal.  The Bee is preparing wholesome, family-oriented articles about dying of thirst, bleached bones in every residential street, and Sacramento a ghost town.  “Inky” Hive wasted no time facing his responsibility to keep readers informed.  Between the drought and the Gulf War, Hive has a corner on every reader’s attention.  The Daily Editor is a poor second.  Would you like a trial subscription to The Bee?

After the freezing spell that cracked my main PVC pope to the sprinkler system, we are having summer weather, with trees and bushes blooming.  It’s really a load of fun to be a home owner.  I wouldn’t trade it for five years in San Quentin.

You may have found the cold fusion information in the enclosed article in one of your professional publications.  More was supposed to be coming out “soon,” but I haven’t seen it to far.  When it’s published, I’ll send it on.  What I’m really looking for is a headline saying, “Udo To Decide Future Of Cold Fusion.  Scientific Community Awaits Word.”  Anything less than that will be inconclusive.

My computer-guru stepson got me a copy of WordPerfect 5.1, which has more compatibility than the 5.0 I use now.  But the package did not include the Installation Disk, so I have all twelve program disks in the system, and can’t get them to work because the Installation Disk inputs the command structure.  The Valley News will have to sputter along for another issue or so, until he can locate an Installation Disk owned by some other 5.1 user, and copy it for me.  In the meantime, the world waits the news from the valley as well as from Stamford.  Needless to say, I’m concerned that the world might get impatient and start to read The Bee or The Daily Editor.  Saddam Hussein would love it.  We must prevent that at all costs.  I have been thinking about giving him an anonymous pre-paid subscription to The Bee, which should provide him with so much misinformation that he’ll march his troops straight into the Gulf without water-wings.

Now I have to go to my favorite Exxon station and pick up a new spare tire they’re mounting, for our Toyota sedan.  I looked at it the other day, and the sidewall had separated for about 18 inches.  The tire was old enough to have dried out in our summer heat, and just came apart.  That’ll give you some idea of what life is like out here on the frontier.  A fight for survival every minute.  Regards to Anne and Thomas and the whittlers up at the U&D station.

Fred C. (“Circle The Wagons!”) Dobbs

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