HLS - The Letters Of Harvey L. Slatin

July 27, 1991

Hey, they’re, Udo!–

Enclosed: the latest edition, ink barely dry. It was a struggle, but Man cannot let The Machine triumph; without Man there is no Machine. (Such is the Wisdom 0f My People.)

We have had bearable weather, but 100+ temperatures are here again. From what we read, you have recorded new highs in heat, especially in Big Town. We buy the NY Times daily, to keep up on the weather and The Dinkins Debacle. But no matter how hard they try, they can’t match the klutzes in the City Council? the Beauty Beard of Commissioners, and the State Legislature here in The Big Tomato, Any dozen selected at random could qualify for prison or a padded cell, without breathing hard. If you think Giuliani is a grandstander, you should witness the “normal” behavior inside any at these deliberative bodies. a few weeks ago, one panel member threatened to put a submachine gun to another member’s head to get an answer to his question. Nothing came of it because they bath realized that the slugs would just bounce off‘ But that was a slow day. When they go at it hammer-and-tongs, their chambers are cleaned by special crews using high-pressure hoses. Democracy in action. How do they get elected? The real question is: How do they get nominated?

As one 0f them admitted in an unguarded aside recently: “A lot of the people around here can’t get regular jabs anywhere else.” He was serious.

0n the ether hand, that keeps unemployment down. Once again? in all fairness, there’s something to be said an both sides.

We are presently hosting No. 2 Stepson, the architect from Paris, and his wife Anne-Marie. She’s French and speaks perfect idiomatic English. Used to work for Chanel, and brought Mary a quart~size falcon of No. 5, which would be worth hundreds on Fifth Ave. ‘Maybe thousands. Who deserves it mere? In a few weeks we will he hosting our brother-in-law from Manhasset. After he leaves, we will collapse, twitching with nervous exhaustion. The next person who writes: “We will be in your area on a vacation and would love to see you,” will be answered with package that makes a ticking sound. We have asked the Post Office not ts interfere in a private matter.

That’s the Top Of The News from Tomato Central. We return you to our studies, where a recording sf Tommy Udo playing How You Gonna Keep ’Em Down On The Farm (After They’ve Seen Paree}? on his concertina with mew reeds is in progress.

Fred C. (“I Never Met A Computer I Didn’t Like”) Dobbs

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