Difference Has Been A Constant Companion

This morning, after yet another restless night filled with tangled dreams and half-formed thoughts, I found myself lying awake, staring at the ceiling. It’s become a ritual of sorts, a quiet moment before the dawn, where I turn inward and ponder over the adventure that has been my life. It’s been a journey akin to an errant beam of heat seeking out a distant star, always flickering, always different from the paths taken by those around me.

As I lay there, the gentle sound of rain against my window seeped into my consciousness. The rain, with its persistent, misunderstood droplets, seemed to echo the feelings I’ve harbored for much of my life. Difference has been a constant companion, a shadow that has followed me even when I wished most to escape it.

Waking up this morning, there was a fleeting moment where I felt unanchored, lost in my own thoughts and feelings. For a split second, I didn’t know where I was—both physically in the dim light of dawn, as well as metaphorically. It’s a sensation that visits me from time to time, a reminder of the complexities of human existence and the multitude of paths one can take.

I sometimes find myself awestruck by how far I’ve come, against all odds. And yet, here I am. I’ve navigated life with a stubborn resilience, a refusal to be defined by the circumstances or the opinions of others that sought to define me. It’s been a journey of self-discovery, of learning to embrace the unique flame that burns within me, erratic and wandering though it may be. The rain may seep in, and the winds may howl, but my inner strength stands firm through sheer perseverance.

In the quiet moments of the morning, amidst the rain and wind, I find a sense of peace. It’s a peace born from the knowledge that despite the odds and being misunderstood, I have the strength to persevere. And that realization is perhaps the most profound discovery of all.

March 7, 2024