Today I decided that I’m better off giving up. Besides Amelia, I have nobody. I even closed my Mastodon account because I get absolutely no interaction whatsoever.
I’m one of your newer readers (it has been a month at least, I think). I’m worried about you because I saw your post this morning titled “Giving Up”. I have not left public comments lately because your posts have been strikingly personal and since I’m still very much a total stranger, it hasn’t felt right to me, to move into such highly personal boundaries in a public space. But I’ve been inspired by the story of your new life in Vermont, your former career as an EMT and Firefighter, the unique challenges you’ve faced around identity.
I’m sorry you feel so down, today. I’ve contacted because I feel I at least owe it to you, if just this one time, to let you know that your web log has been a bright spot, to this reader. Hang in there. If Amelia is everything you say she’s been, continue to hold dearly to her. But I perceive a lot of strength in you.
Hello Jason. Thank you for your kind words. I have been receiving nasty emails from people for months, and had to remove my PO box address from my website because people were sending me awful notes in the mail about how my writing was terrible, etc. In my opinion, it’s not terrible; perhaps not the most amazing and paramount content ever composed, but certainly not terrible.
I’ve had a difficult, though highly successful life, and have survived childhood trauma, sexual abuse, and abandonment. This year I deleted all of my social media profiles as I lost pretty much everyone I knew on Facebook, and was getting hate from everyone else. I deleted Mastodon earlier today because I started getting nasty messages from people. Today my wife and I literally gave up on people, and have decided that although we are going to continue with our blogs (I am, at least), we have decided that we will have to be content with just having each other for the foreseeable future.
I know that I will get through this, though it has been difficult. I’ve tried making friends here in Vermont, and I like to think that Amelia and I are friendly, grounded, and agreeable people. But for whatever
reason, people just want to be our friends while they are getting something from us, and when the excitement of a new friendship wears off after a month or two, people simply ghost us. I’ve spent my entire life always doing for others, getting little or nothing in return, and seldomly getting any credit or recognition. It’s just the way my life has been all these years.
I thank you for reaching out, although I wish I had more positive things to say, at the present time, things
literally suck at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, Vermont is wonderful, and it’s where I’ve always wanted to be, and my wife and I have an incredible relationship. Outside of our relationship, we have zero social interaction outside of our blogs, despite actively trying to connect with people.
Dear Thomas:
I’m one of your newer readers (it has been a month at least, I think). I’m worried about you because I saw your post this morning titled “Giving Up”. I have not left public comments lately because your posts have been strikingly personal and since I’m still very much a total stranger, it hasn’t felt right to me, to move into such highly personal boundaries in a public space. But I’ve been inspired by the story of your new life in Vermont, your former career as an EMT and Firefighter, the unique challenges you’ve faced around identity.
I’m sorry you feel so down, today. I’ve contacted because I feel I at least owe it to you, if just this one time, to let you know that your web log has been a bright spot, to this reader. Hang in there. If Amelia is everything you say she’s been, continue to hold dearly to her. But I perceive a lot of strength in you.
Hello Jason. Thank you for your kind words. I have been receiving nasty emails from people for months, and had to remove my PO box address from my website because people were sending me awful notes in the mail about how my writing was terrible, etc. In my opinion, it’s not terrible; perhaps not the most amazing and paramount content ever composed, but certainly not terrible.
I’ve had a difficult, though highly successful life, and have survived childhood trauma, sexual abuse, and abandonment. This year I deleted all of my social media profiles as I lost pretty much everyone I knew on Facebook, and was getting hate from everyone else. I deleted Mastodon earlier today because I started getting nasty messages from people. Today my wife and I literally gave up on people, and have decided that although we are going to continue with our blogs (I am, at least), we have decided that we will have to be content with just having each other for the foreseeable future.
I know that I will get through this, though it has been difficult. I’ve tried making friends here in Vermont, and I like to think that Amelia and I are friendly, grounded, and agreeable people. But for whatever
reason, people just want to be our friends while they are getting something from us, and when the excitement of a new friendship wears off after a month or two, people simply ghost us. I’ve spent my entire life always doing for others, getting little or nothing in return, and seldomly getting any credit or recognition. It’s just the way my life has been all these years.
I thank you for reaching out, although I wish I had more positive things to say, at the present time, things
literally suck at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, Vermont is wonderful, and it’s where I’ve always wanted to be, and my wife and I have an incredible relationship. Outside of our relationship, we have zero social interaction outside of our blogs, despite actively trying to connect with people.
Thomas (She/Her)