Lying in the quiet of the night, I’m often reminded of a line from a classic Simon and Garfunkel song, “The Sounds Of Silence”, “Hello darkness, my old friend.” It’s during these silent moments that I converse with myself, navigating the intricate pathways of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This is my realm. I am the queen of introspection.
Life has thrown its fair share of curveballs, and with each experience, I’ve taken a step back to understand it, to see how it fits into the bigger picture of my journey. Many may see this as overthinking or overanalyzing, but for me, it’s my way of connecting the dots. As Tracy Chapman once sang, “All that you have is your soul.” And it’s the soul that I seek to understand through my introspective quests.
In a world that values speed and efficiency, introspection might seem like a luxury, even a waste of time. But it’s essential for me. It’s my way of grounding myself, my compass in navigating the challenges and celebrations of life.
Do you remember the lyrics from the song “Breathe” by Anna Nalick? “2 AM, and I’m still awake writing this song. If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.” I feel every word of that verse. Writing and introspection are ways for me to exorcise my emotions, to confront and understand them.
Many times, my introspection has been a double-edged sword. It has been both my sanctuary and my prison. It’s led me to profound insights, but it’s also sometimes kept me in the grip of past traumas and regrets. Yet, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s a part of who I am. It’s how I’ve come to understand my strengths, weaknesses, hopes, and fears.
Bob Dylan once crooned, “How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?” I’ve walked down countless roads, both literal and metaphorical, in my quest for self-understanding. With every step, every thought, every dream, I’ve discovered fragments of my soul.
To be the queen of introspection is not merely to be reflective. It’s about the willingness to confront oneself, to brave the stormy seas of one’s own psyche, and to emerge stronger and wiser on the other side.
Introspection has taught me to listen—not just to others but to the whisperings of my own heart. It’s helped me find beauty in pain, strength in vulnerability, and wisdom in moments of silence.
So, as I lay in bed tonight, with only the soft hum of the universe as my companion, I’ll continue my introspective journey, exploring the endless depths of my soul. Because, as the Beatles wisely said, “In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” And I intend to make and take as much love as this introspective heart can hold.
To all my fellow dreamers and introspective souls out there, remember: It’s okay to dive deep into the oceans of your thoughts. For in those depths, you might just find hidden treasures waiting to be discovered.
October 27, 2023