The older I get, the more it seems that I lose. I have lost people near a dear, my possessions, and arguably, my faith.
All I ever wanted my entire life was to feel comfortable in my own skin. To belong. To live authentically. To be free.
I put the entire essence of my being into my work as a firefighter; a hero, a friend, a person whom others could count on in times of need. Sometimes I felt as if I were always on call. Years and years I roamed, through futile attempts to run away from myself, I ran out of places to run to.
If these are life lessons, I have learned that I too, can leave behind a heart.
October 8, 2021