The older I get, the more it seems that I lose. I have lost people near a dear, my possessions, and arguably, my faith.
All I ever wanted my entire life was to feel comfortable in my own skin. To belong. To live authentically. To be free.
I put the entire essence of my being into my work as a firefighter; a hero, a friend, a person whom others could count on in times of need. Sometimes I felt as if I were always on call. Years and years I roamed, through futile attempts to run away from myself, I ran out of places to run to.
If these are life lessons, I have learned that I too, can leave behind a heart.
October 8, 2021
What you leave behind is just a new beginning.
One of my favourite song lyrics by Florence Welch: “Some things you let go in order to live.” But your heart is still there–it’s just carrying a lighter load:-)
Unfortunately life is like that. No one can ever have perfect happiness . At least it’s so good that you can learn from it all.
Sometimes, running away from yourself is the only way to truly find the most authentic version of yourself. It’s the hardest thing you can do, and you do leave behind your heart and a bit of your soul and a lot of your identity. But then you wake up, and a stronger heart is there, your soul is still missing that bit, but it starts growing back, and the identity just fits better.