When I was a child, I thought that when I grew up, that all my picture-perfect maps and plans of the future would come true.  As of yet, very few of those plans I was certain and convinced would come true actually did.  But what if things turned out differently?  Maybe I would have been famous.  Maybe I would have been successful.  Maybe I would have chased dreams similar to those around me.

For awhile, I thought that fame, success, and obsessing over the tiny details and materialistic things in life were what really mattered.  That was the message that was instilled in my mind ever since I can remember.  It took a considerable, almost unfathomable amount of time for me to come to the conclusion that there are things in life that are paramount over everything else.  Doing good work, making time for friends and loved ones, and trying to make the world a better, more accepting place.

And yet, despite all that I have done to preach fairness and equality, it still remains a very cruel, competitive, and unfair world.  A world where very few people get what they deserve, and even if they are able to attain the things that they spent a lifetime to achieve, those sometimes insignificant rewards can be lost forever at a moments notice, sometimes through an act of natural disaster, but more often as a result of the selfish action of others.


In my life, it seems that my life has been an uphill battle ever since I was a child.  Trials and tribulations, and roadblocks always getting in the way of the things I should have achieved, could have achieved, or realized that the prize was no longer worth the time and effort and abandoned the pursuits altogether. There have been many times in my life when I felt as if I was at a dead end, at a point of no return, when in reality I was faced at a crossroad, waiting on a decision on which path in life I wished to take next.  Yet, after I made those countless decisions in my life as to the next path or course I wished to embark upon, I constantly second-guessed those choices.  There is an unnecessary amount of judgment, comparing, and competition in modern society, and it is unhealthy.  I dream of a world where all people are allowed the same opportunities, and given fair and equal treatment.  It seems in modern society, same as it was a millennia ago, we still are able to somehow morally and socially justify a reason to find differences in others, and use those differences against one another through discrimination and prejudice to advance ourselves unfairly.

It has been my experience that regardless of what laws, regulations, and standards are progressed, upheld, and enforced, there is just no changing the already made-up minds of a few who seek to turn back the clock to an earlier, more oppressive time.

I wish that growing up I had been taught the true value of happiness, because as in life, if one cannot be happy with the way things are, their possessions, and time spent with loved ones, then what really is the value of ones life?  I wish that I was taught that as an adult, I should make time to deal with the mixed emotions of adulthood, and to make time to experience, express, and cherish those emotions, both good and bad.  I wish someone had told me that as an adult, in life we must make time to laugh, to cry, and to appreciate and cherish the things we have and the people whom we love, and perhaps more importantly, those who love us.

Modern society in and of itself has become a sort of chaotic downward spiral where possessions are being loved and cherished, while people are being used, taken for granted, and treated poorly.  It seems that every day there is another person who has turned to violence because they felt as if they weren’t being heard.  There have been a multitude of times in my life when I tried to speak out, but it seemed as if no one could hear me.  And instead of turning to violence, I turned to writing; speech is often futile and fleeting, while the written word can often last much longer and often gets through in such a way to fulfill the need.

The header image was designed using Canva, and uses the fonts Satisfy and Raleway.  The photo Dead Car was taken in October of 2010.

The Child Is Grown | Pictures And Memories | Enigmatic | When I Was 16; A Retrospect | When Is It Time To Let Go | These Are The Thoughts Of An Independent Thinker | Will The Memories Die? | 320


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