Writing

Sometimes, I Don’t Know

  • May 21, 2017

Recently someone asked me if I had always taken pictures and written notes throughout my life, or if this was simply started in adulthood.

It wasn’t until late 2002 that I started to take my passion for writing and photography seriously, and of course, it was on the advice and encouragement of Angie.  Up until that time in my life, I only casually took photos, and write about inconsequential things about my life when there wasn’t really much of anything worth writing about.  When I first me Angie, my passion became more focused, and I found myself photographing and documenting, and publishing more on the Internet than ever before.  It seems that all I really needed was a muse, new adventures, new experiences, and a lot of supportive, loving encouragement.  I was 22.

For many years, during my childhood especially, I experienced so many unbelievable and amazing things, the vast majority of which were not documented or recorded in any way.  The details were simply lost, only to exist in my mind as inconsequential bits and pieces of memories that, as the years go by, fade away slowly their nostalgic value ever increasing, though never to return again.

My father left behind a large cardboard box in the attic when he passed away.  The box was unmarked, though completely filled with random and haphazardly unsorted snapshots and photographs documenting my childhood years, more specifically the times when I was home.  He also left behind several photo albums filled with photographs, documenting the days after my birth to 1990, when I first went away to summer camp.  The amount of photographs started to dwindle in the years that followed, especially in 1994, when I began to alternate between summer camp and boarding school.  By the time I moved out of my parents house, the photography had all but ceased.

At the very bottom of the box were a handful of cassette tapes, recorded when I was 8 years old.  Sadly, despite years of begging my parents to invest in a video camera, one was never purchased and I do not have home movies of my parents.

In recent years I have been asked why I neglected to document the most important and pivotal moments in my life, as if people assume that I was a successful prose writer from an exceedingly early age.  Despite showing a fascination with the written word at a very early age, scribbling down little notes, ideas, and observations by age 8, and simple stories and narratives by age 9, I often ask myself why it took me so long to take that documentation of my life seriously, and sometimes, I don’t know.

Sometimes I fear that not adequately documenting the many years of childhood, especially my travels and experiences, now lost in some ways, mostly philosophical, that I might feel regret through to my last mile.  Some might speculate that as an adult I might just repeat earlier experiences in adulthood, and I could very well do so, of course, though life was easier when I was younger.

People were much more willing to forgive and forget the little missteps and trespasses of others back then.  I did document some things, on an often sporadic and unpredictable schedule.  Whatever I had written down was far less censored, fearless, and devoid of any concern for the consequences that might have been rendered.

I wrote mainly through the lens of a voyeur, documenting things through the lens of a full-time news reporter following my every life experience, charting every last detail as if my life depended upon it.  Instead of simply making outrageous claims of experiences, I actually lived and sought them. I was young and stupid, but in my writing, I was older then.

Colophon
The header image uses the fonts League Gothic and Gidole.  It was designed using Canva, and my photograph, .

Asides
The Tapes | Generation Gap | Camp Chateaugay, In Pictures (1992-1994) | Camp Chateaugay, In Pictures (1996) | Camp Chateaugay, In Pictures, Part 2 | Camp Chateaugay, In Pictures (1991-2000) | Harvey Slatin Radio Interview On WUOW

(Visited 64 times, 1 visits today)

10 Comments on Sometimes, I Don’t Know

  • brainedet says:
    February 16, 2019 at 8:13 PM

    This is so heart warming to read. You have always being on the right path of success and I appreciate the fact that you have really become who you wanted to be. Continue to bless us with your works.

    Reply

  • Miaka Yuuki says:
    February 16, 2019 at 6:56 PM

    In my case it is not the documentation that I regret per say. Rather I never take photos of it. I have no phone before so i missed them. However, I had made a lot of memories and is on videos now for safe keeping.

    Reply

  • rachel says:
    February 16, 2019 at 6:30 PM

    i do believe things happened for reasons. especially when it comes to our parent. sometimes we just dont see it but i glad you did found some memories of your childhood. dont have regrets for things in the past, but be thankful what you have become today 🙂

    Reply

  • Maury Cheskes says:
    February 16, 2019 at 1:55 PM

    I can see what you mean how writing becomes more mature when you get older. You’re lucky your dad left you so many memories to glimpse at. I agree, it’s good to document experiences in your life with vivid detail so you can relive it later.

    Reply

  • Obalade Damilola says:
    February 16, 2019 at 10:25 AM

    Unlike some of us, you still have a tad bit of photos and writings that hold some details of your life.I have nothing that can make me peer back in time at my childhood.. No photos,home made videos..just forgive yourself and move on..Document your new experiences, take good pictures..leave the past behind

    Reply

  • Rizzee Cerdeñola says:
    February 16, 2019 at 3:13 AM

    I have the same experience. I regret the travels, happy moments that I failed to documentation. It would be a great thing to be looking back at.

    Reply

  • Jane Njeri says:
    February 16, 2019 at 1:18 AM

    Your story is inspiring. This is especially because at times we need a person who can push us to step into our new self that we didn’t know about.

    Reply

  • Phoebe says:
    February 15, 2019 at 10:31 PM

    You are lucky to have some form of reference for all or most of your valuable memories. A lot of people only have them engraved in their mind.

    Reply

  • Sean says:
    February 15, 2019 at 10:28 PM

    Sometimes I wish I documented most of my experiences too. It’s a part of me that I may never recover 🙁

    Reply

  • jolly555 says:
    February 15, 2019 at 8:58 PM

    You did a great job documenting and snapping away life’s experiences and discoveries. I wish I had tow this line when I was a bit younger I would have really created memories. It really amazing to see some of our works.

    Reply

Leave a Reply