American Writer, Photographer, and Website Designer. Former career Fire and EMS Lieutenant. She/Her/Lesbian.

Category: Writing

  • In Another Set Of Chances I’d Take The One’s I’ve Missed

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    I used to write in riddles, and I used to write in rhymes; my body ached to write the words, the prose is what kept me alive. I write into the dark veil of the night, and in another set of chances, I’d take the ones I’ve missed. All the times in which I spoke into the silence, and whenever I do it seems I don’t speak, except to cry out and wait for an answer. I came into this world alone, marked in constellation, and when all else is gone, I will still be here. There’s a ceiling in the darkness, I am but a lifeless face that you’ll soon forget. There’s a monster living under my bed who…

  • I Can Leave Behind A Heart

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    The older I get, the more it seems that I lose. I have lost people near a dear, my possessions, and arguably, my faith. All I ever wanted my entire life was to feel comfortable in my own skin. To belong. To live authentically. To be free. I put the entire essence of my being into my work as a firefighter; a hero, a friend, a person whom others could count on in times of need. Sometimes I felt as if I were always on call. Years and years I roamed, through futile attempts to run away from myself, I ran out of places to run to. If these are life lessons, I have learned that I too, can leave…

  • Generational Degradation


    August 17, 2021 Dear Thomas, Thank you so much for sending me your book. It was a little slow to start for me at first, as most books are; but then it took off and I gleefully finished it in two more sittings. Yes, much wisdom engendered of experience. Hardest but best way to learn. Makes for good stuff though! The more ethereal parts reminded me a bit of Haruki Murakami at times. Sounds like you are on a good path. I agree that there has been much generational degradation in recent times. Certain technologies have exacerbated that. I blame most of it on the reset button. For sure, change gives rise to uncertainty. Uncertainty gives rise to anxiety. Since…

  • The Fake Idols Of Plastic


    Everything in life begins, and ends, yet it is always the ending that I always think about. People who I thought would be my forever friends; those whom I’ve known and admired since childhood like teenage film stars and superstars in magazines, the checkmarks of pseudoverification have become the fake idols of plastic. A lifetime spent caring about people I truly believed were my friends, most of which have all but abandoned me in pursuit of their own selfish and self-absorbed nirvana. I held onto the firm belief in the idea that we could change ourselves, and the past might be undone. I cannot rewind and I’ve gone too far, and somewhere along the line, I must have slipped off…

  • So Long, Maria


    In 2021, I replied to a request posted on PostSecret, asking for a penpal. After contacting Maria, she enthusiastically accepted me as a penpal, though after she received my first letter, she decided to simply ghost me without any explanation. I decided to contact Maria, and soon after, she sent me a postcard in the mail, accepting my introduction as a penpal. My letter to Maria… June 21, 2021 Dear Maria, It is with great enthusiasm that I write you as my new penpal.  The last time I had a penpal, I was matched with someone through my grade school at age eight, though one might suggest the obvious question of what would be so interesting in the life of…

  • Summer Comes For Everyone


    This morning I was lost inside a daydream and I was rehearsing a dialogue inside my head. In my dreams, it is always raining and in shades of black and white. The rain wraps fears around me like a blanket, making me feel short of stable, and then finally, it washes me away. These are the days I will remember all my life, the precious and often fleeting moments when there’s a story to be told, Amelia takes my hand in an empty room as adventure awaits. Summer comes for everyone; today is the springtime of my life. Social media became one drink too many and a joke gone too far; the storm that was coming my way was always…

  • Summoned To The Far Reaches Of My Mind


    Today I was summoned to the far reaches of my mind as I pondered all morning about what I was going to write, as the snow fell gently only to be carried away by a mocking easterly wind. I spent the last few days going through my old notebooks, in a futile attempt to gain solace in a book written pages, filled only with passages of days long ago, snapshots and memories much like a smoldering smoke of a fire that was left to coals. I have lived a life less ordinary, my experiences unique in fact, and yet, perhaps somewhere along the way, I neglected to document many of the moments in my life that I often think about.…

  • Second-Guessing


    February 4, 2009 Today I’m second-guessing the plans I made in regards to my book. I’m still going to write it, of course even if my approach leads me in a different direction. To write a book one has to open up their heart and soul if they want to make it worth reading. Writing a list-based book of how-to’s has the potential to become a fascinating read, but as “A” told me today, I should try harder simply because I have a lot more potential that should never go to waste. It is better to write a book about a topic that you’re passionate about than to write a bunch of nonsense about a topic you know nothing about.…

  • My Moleskine Notebook


    November 3, 2008 My dear friend of 10+ years talked to me on my Skype for an hour and 45 minutes. “G” is an openly gay and borderline effeminate college best friend of mine who despite his busy schedule, always finds time to keep in touch. Not only has he enjoyed huge success in recent years, but he finally met the man of his dreams (“I”) whom he lives with in Ohio. During the course of our conversation, “G” brought back memories and remembrances of the good old days back when we were students at Marshall University. It’s sad to think of how I let the good times pass me by without any way of accurately recollecting daily events. 1998…

  • These Things Will Never Change For Us At All


    Ever since childhood, there were always a handful of places I considered magical and I always dreamed that these places would always be there, if not for all time, then at the very least, for all of my life. An unexpected course of recent events has suddenly forced me to replace my lifelong dreams with less marvelous ones for which I must dream instead. Realizing finally that no matter what, these things will never change for us at all. Childhood heroes, people I thought were my friends, and all the things for which I held in such firm belief to be true, though, in the end, I’ve come to realize that everything I believed so steadfastly to be true, was…